3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
