I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
