He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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