Porn is love you can see.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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