His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize