I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize