I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
