I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
