Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize