Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
