I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
