just come out here and I will go home with you...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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