there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize