so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
