Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
