ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
