my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
