Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
