doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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