According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think my moral compass just broke
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