I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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