Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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