PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
