i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
