i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
FUCK WHALES
Shame - the story of my life.
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