Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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