So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
