Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
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