But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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