help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
