What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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