I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she pinky promised me she was 18
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
