he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
