I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
