Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
