I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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