i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
