it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
