seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
