Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
