Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
