Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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