just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
