no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
