idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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