But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
