Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
