I'm eating all of the evidence.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
