I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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