I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
As shirtless as possible
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
