one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The Olympian is in my bed
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