i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
