i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
These tits shall not be calmed
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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