whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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