I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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