she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
