I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
