Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
