Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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