lets start a swedish sibling band together
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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