I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
