You're my little dorito
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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