Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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